Reflections on 2 Months

As I walked home in a pink dusk last night, I was suddenly struck by the realization that 2 months have casually passed since I began this journey. Thusly, I find it appropriate to record some basic thoughts and reflections on how my life has changed in these past few months (in no particular order):

I don’t get to drive a car here…I never realized how American I am in that sense: I really miss driving my car!

Instead of orienting myself according to the mountains, directions are all given in relation to the castle.

I walk a whole heck of a lot more.

I somehow find more of a need to express myself profoundly in English – never in my life have I felt such a deep need to write.

I find it strange when I walk down the street and overhear a conversation in English – I actually notice the “rrrr” of the American accent, which is kind of hilarious.

I never could have imagined the boldness that has been instilled in my heart in my drive to learn German. In the past few weeks, I have really branched out from my English-speaking friends and find myself walking boldly into new situations in which I meet new people and casually converse in German. Unbelievable. The only exception to this ability to converse in German is one of the Germans who lives on my floor. For some reason, I absolutely cannot understand him when he speaks. Germany is a land of diverse dialects, and the accent here in Baden, while I must really concentrate to understand, is at least clear enough that I can understand at least 75% of what is being said. With Dennis, he might as well be speaking Chinese half of the time. Anyway, bottom line: I am really enjoying making German friends here. I also enjoy the confidence that I am gaining as I truly relish every moment that has been granted to me in this place.

I daily gain a deeper understanding of cultural identity. It is funny to observe another culture and begin to realize how much of my perception of self and world comes from being an American. Walking the tightrope of cultural sensitivity and personal pride is becoming ever easier, however, as I find my feet in this sometimes strange world, and learn to step away from the wall and live my differences boldly. I am learning that a large part of the American psyche (at least mine) revolves around a sense of empathy. I have a strong propensity to identify with the feelings and experiences of others…because of this, I apologize a lot, I laugh with people and conversely take their hurt on and hurt with them. I have been told countless times that I mustn’t apologize so much or utter such sympathetic mutterings when hearing the plight of others. To which I now reply with a smile, laugh and expression of genuine camaraderie: I am an American, and proud to be so.

I no longer find it strange to visit several different stores over a period of days in order to purchase my groceries.

I am becoming a pro at working the train system here.

However, I continue to miss you all dearly. I looked back on the first few posts and remember easily the tears shed in the airport and on airplanes as I embarked on this adventure with the support of a small army of family and friends. Without your network of support I am certain I would find myself here a little adrift and uncertain. I know that my boldness here comes from a deep sense of security in being loved, missed, and encouraged. I continue to carry you all in my heart with a deep sense of inexpressible gratitude. Thank you. ~love~