Ode

To all the blog posts in my head...

you were beautiful as i rode the shady lane on the first day the trees were blooming.

you were clever as i walked the rainy streets of Heidelberg and noticed a child - turned into a turtle by his over-sized umbrella - jump. in. every. puddle.

you were ironic when that deep freeze from siberia settled in

you were emotional on that day when everything seemed to go wrong

you were funny on the day that every child seemed to be crying

you were all sorts of things as i walked, biked, traveled, sat, ate, lived these last few months.

i'm sorry i didn't take better care of you. write you down. commit you to memory. tell you to someone other than myself. you really were great but now you have left me with nothing but faint whisperings of what you once were. now i will let you rest. because there is more to discover and more to learn. hopefully i will take better care of those that come. ~love~

a somewhat awkward blog post

...in which I sort of skip over the fact that I haven't written anything here since Christmas and jump in to a soliloquy about my love for spring.


These days of spring - they are darn near perfect.


I track the coming green each morning when I raise my blinds.


The greatest thing about spring in Germany has got to be the flowers. I don't know if Germans are the only people who so brilliantly celebrate spring - but I know I had never seen it before my very first German spring in 2009. Under the grass in medians, on lawns, in parks - wherever there is a small patch of green - some hopeful people planted bulbs. At the first signs of spring, those first few days of thaw, these hopeful buds start sprouting - slowly growing taller than the grass. First the crocuses - purple, white and yellow - bravely lead the color parade. Then the daffodils, turn their happy faces to the sun - bidding it to shine warmer and longer than before. Finally the tulips, oh those beautiful tulips, they show off the colors of the new life of spring.

Someday, when I have a patch of green that belongs to me, I want to be the kind of person who plants bulbs under the grass. I want to live every day with that kind of faith and that kind of hope - there is life, there is spring, there is rejuvination, growth, change. I want to plant bulbs in my own heart, and those of the little ones I teach, bulbs of love, joy, patience, kindness, respect, hope - bulbs that will bloom again and again to exemplify beautiful and growing hearts.


~love~

o come, o come

this last week, i have been reminded of the joyous anticipation of christmas. highlighted at church on sunday, in the shadow of that wreath with four candles ablaze, we meditated on advent - the anticipation, the hope, the joy of the arrival of emmanuel. especially in the darkness of winter, the morning star represents light, life and hope.

here

instead of rushing around in stress and bemoaning the darkness, this is a time to be joyful. embrace the crowds, the tasks, the events - we are approaching a great celebration! the shopping, the baking, the parties all add to the excitement of anticipation. my mama has instilled in me an appreciation for a "festival" approach to important days. why celebrate a birthday on just one day, when you can celebrate for a week? i am making a concerted effort to embrace the festival of christmas.

this enjoyment means taking time to stop and appreciate those little moments - and here are a few of mine from the last weeks:

1. decorating christmas cookies with one of my favorite classes
2. baking christmas cookies while watching some of my favorite christmas movies
3. visiting christmas markets with friends
4. snow at last! (for those of you keeping up on the snow bet - it was called on December 20th as golfball-sized flakes fell from the sky - a magical first day of snow)
5. enjoying my favorite christmas market treat - roasted chestnuts
6. spending a wonderful evening with my fellow teachers at our company christmas party. good food, good friends and a great time all around.

i am looking forward to a (hopefully) snowy christmas in bavaria and a relaxing christmas holiday. although i miss my family and the traditions of my childhood, i am doing my best to take in the season and enjoy every minute - thankful for the abundant blessings in my life. ~love~

the strongest of senses

i have long been convinced that smell is the real king among the senses. it compliments and enhances the other senses so powerfully, especially in those times in which we create lasting memories.

here

i mean really, a christmas tree without the fresh pine smell - its only half as magical (sorry for all those fake-tree people out there...i've always had real ones). the smell cookies in the oven. the smell of cider on the stove. turkey in the oven. cranberries. snow. even the smell of scotch tape from wrapping all those presents. you've got to admit - the olfactory system is pretty powerful. particularly when it comes to christmas memories.

here

last weekend, i went to the renaissance christmas market in durlach. since living in germany, new scents have been added to my christmas memories - crepes. glühwein. sugared almonds. marzipan. i had to smile today, as i caught the scent of the campfire on my coat - leftover from the durlach christmas market. enjoy the scents of christmas, my dears. ~love~

100

well, it has certainly taken me long enough to reach 100 blog posts. it reminds me of first grade, with the 100 chart, where we carefully charted the first one hundred days of school. I brought in a ziploc baggy filled with 100 pennies. Even then, it registered that 100 is a lot more than I thought it was. and now i carry this memory with me, and wonder if anything that i do with those precious little children will be tucked away as one of those deep memories - the kind you carry with you for reasons that are nothing but mysterious.

here

to me, it doesn't matter if the kids leave my class speaking fluent english (they won't), but if they can remember learning a word, or a phrase, the emotion that bubbled to life when they first learned ______, even when they are 27 years old, well, i think that is significant. every time i see their eyes light up with understanding, creativity and passion, even if in the next minute they are off in their own world again, it gets me. the times in which i feel a true connection, even with the most difficult kid, those are the times that keep me coming back for more. i hold tight to those moments when that one kid just won't stop talking, or a spat breaks out between two girls who have already learned that particular girl-cruelness even in second grade. i keep planning, teaching, investing, working - in the hopes that the memory of one game, one song, one book, will be more powerful than those wild moments. that, just as i think back to that silly chart with the numbers 1-100 lined in neat rows of ten and that clear baggy of pennies so carefully counted out, they will reflect back with a smile when they hear english words.

here

thanks for sticking with me for 100 posts. ~love~

do you know how much that costs?

well, speaking of kids, i just overheard a classic exchange between two young kids (presumably on their way home from school)

one kid tried his hand at rapping and this is a portion of what i heard: (translated for you -although it does not rhyme in english, it did in fact rhyme in german, which kind of impressed me)

"...yeah yeah yeah. yeah. who knows what will happen. we're gonna be rich. and ... buy ... ... ... the whole world..."

at this point, he was interrupted by his companion.

"hey, wait. we can't do that. do you know how much the whole world costs?!"

here

i wish i could have heard the answer - i've actually been wondering what the going price is on the world. ~love~

that jolly red man remains illusive

one of the many benefits of my job is experiencing first hand the "kid perspective" of life. on wednesday, i overheard a group of first graders (6 and 7 year olds) having a very serious discussion about santa. as i missed the beginning of the conversation, i'm not sure what brought on this discussion - perhaps the coming of st. nicholas next week? - regardless, there were some very strong opinions being thrown about.

kid 1: well, i don't know about you, but i have seen him. he is definitely real.

kid 2: i have seen him too!

kid 3 (who i am willing to bet has older siblings...just saying): that was just someone dressed up like santa. that doesn't mean he's real.

kid 1: well, how do they know what he looks like, then?

[pause for deep thinking]

kid 2: yeah, maybe we did see people dressed like him, but that must mean that there is a real one somewhere

kid 1: yeah

kid 3: can i borrow your glue stick?

i am constantly entertained by my glimpses into "kid world" - as adults, we tend to project adult thinking and reasoning onto kids, but the reality is, they just don't conform. they adhere to a different kind of logic, which is often baffling and sometimes quite frustrating, but thankfully often entertaining. ~love~