fight

honestly the pressure of procrastination is reaching new and rediculous heights. i would pretty much rather be doing anything other than dealing with the daunting task of writing my thesis. in german. let me illustrate

today, i would rather wash the floor to ceiling windows in the library than write my paper. seriously, the dirt is distracting me. this is bad.

i took the fire alarm going off in the library to mean that i should study outside. for the record, studying outside is not effective.

my sub-conscious sabatoged me and i forgot my laptop cord this morning - time to ride my bike 20 more minutes to get it and go back

as long as i was going back, i decided to do everyone's favorite thing - deal with german bureocracy! today is the perfect day to fill out forms to extend my visa, right?

despite my panic dreams every.single.night, i can't help reading extra stuff that i don't necessarily need, taking too long revising sentences, and generally dragging me feet.

help!!!

ebb and flow

sometimes i would like to watch a sped up video loop of library traffic. early morning, when the long tables are empty, but for the few, the hard-core. the midday chaos of papers, laptops and cords - holding place for their owners out to lunch. finishing out as they all straggle out, embracing the darkening night and cold, fall air.

i would love to watch at high speed tempo, as people hesitate before selecting thier spot - then spread out and make it their own - as others scurry up and down the stairs at a brisk pace, searching, skimming, selecting from the solid, unmoving volumes filling the shelves. then packing up, leaving no trace.

at that tempo, the pattern, the ebb and flow of this living library would emerge quite logically. filling up, emptying out, wearing paths in the cold stone floors. the life of a building, bursting with the surge of students, year after year. ~love~

going native

assimilation is a funny thing. it comes so slowly, almost without notice. some days i find myself being very...german. this was particularly apparent during my last trip home.

one day, i'm walking along the sidewalk, oblivious of the white line down the middle. the next, i am repeadly dinging my bicycle bell, yelling at politely reminding the group of tourists that this is a bike lane...for bikes...and my bell means get out of the bike lane before i run you over!

here

one day, i am dreaming of those wonderful people who bag your groceries for you in american grocery stores. the next, i am home for a visit and the grocery bagger looks at me like i have lost my marbles as I quickly grab each item and frantically stuff it into the cloth bag that I brought with me before they can calmly and with a sense of organization pack my items into free plastic bags. i promise i'm not crazy. i just live in germany.

one day, it annoys me that everything is closed on sundays. the next, i am thankful for the peace and quiet, slower pace, and forced break. i love sundays.

one day, i am accidentally mixing up the formal and informal forms of "you" in german, the next, i hear a conversation in english between a bus driver and a passenger and think "well, thats rude. she just said 'you' to him!" oh wait. that was her only option.

here

one day, i have panic attacks every time i have to pay at a restaurant and figure out a tip simultaneously to paying. the next, the thought of splitting checks, paying with a debit card, and all of the back and forth of paying in america gives me hives.

one day, i think i will never ever ever figure out the metric system. the next, i am telling the girl at king soopers that it would be great if she could slice the cheese in about 1/2 centimeter thick slices. (this is when my dad leaned over to me and said - "we don't use centimeters here" in a not so quiet whisper...) drat. metric really is a lot more practical.

obviously i could go on. its the funniest thing to realize how adaptable we humans are - and to think about all the things i have taken on that are so german. i think my emails have gotten more pointed, less flowery. german. i have definitely become more punctual. german. but you know what? i like it. i'm going native! ~love~

lets call it a win

today was one of those perfect fall days - clear blue sky, a very slight chill in the air, a few yellow leaves, and warm, warm sunshine. if fall was like this every day...well, we might be on better terms. these kinds of days help to motivate me, somehow. the freshness, the cleanliness of nature (it just feels cleaner when the air is so dry and cool, right? or is that just me?)

here

this air motivated me to clear off a shelf to temporarily house the 37 (!) books that i have checked out from the library. i was tired of navigating the narrow maze that had developed in my room - i need space! i must say...it makes a huge difference.

however, no sooner had i finished this ever-important project (its not like i have a thesis to write or anything...) i promptly spilled an *entire* bag of popcorn kernels. all. over. the. clean. floor. 500 grams might not seem like a lot...oh but it is. it is a lot of popcorn kernels.

here

after cleaning up THAT mess...i was not feeling so positive about my day - its not only a waste of time, its a waste of money and all that delicious popcorn! - well, little did i know, something would make up for the lost time (and money).

i stopped by work to talk to my boss about a few things and return some books to the library (late. blast.) and we got to chatting. after a bit, a man came in, looking quite confused: he was looking for sabine?* she's not here? she is on vacation for a week? but i brought her ice cream!!

no sweeter words had been uttered that day. sabine wasn't there? he had a cup of ice cream left over? i mean...i don't like to brag, but i am a pretty generous person. i might be willing to eat it - you know, in an emergency.

it. was. delicious.

moral of the story: fall is trying to win me over...and is slowly but surely succeeding. ~love~

*sabine is another of my bosses... they work in the same office

because I was wondering...

so, all of you sound of music fans (read: me) might be wondering why germans used to call young, unmarried women "fräulein" but nowadays they just call all women, regardless of marital status "frau" (kind of like miss and ms. - but different, because in this comparison, there would be no mrs.) well, thanks to my research, i am learning all sorts of things that are interesting and completely unrelated to my topic!

for fun, i will quote the article here (mostly because I want a copy of it!) and translate for all of you non-german speakers below!

Frau oder Fräulein

Wien, 13. März (Südena). Die weiblichen Abgeordneten der Sozialistischen Partei Österreichs beantragten im Nationalrat ein Bundesgesetz, nach dem alle in Österreich lebenden weiblichen Personen ohne Rücksicht auf ihren Familienstand nach dem 21. Lebensjahr das Recht haben sollen, in der Öffentlilchkeit und gegenüber den Behörden die Bezeichnung "Frau" zu führen.

(Badische Zeitung: Länder-Ausgabe. 15. März 1949, Seite 8)

Basically, it said that the women of the socialist party in austria submitted a petition to the government stating that all women should have the right to be called "frau" from the time that they are 21, regardless of marital status.

don't you all feel like you learn things from me?

now back to work... ~love~

breathe the crisp fall air...and be happy

i have the feeling i've been a bit of a negative nancy lately, especially in my blog posts. this is due to 1. the looming dedline for my masters thesis (which is still not writing itself and therefore not even close to where it should be) 2. the waning of my very favorite season: summer.

summer in germany is just my favorite: festivals around every corner, long days, grill parties, fresh fruit and vegetables, flip-flops, long (dry) bike rides, dresses and skirts, swimming, sunshine, fun...need i go on?

however, i have been reminded these last few days of the many joys of fall, particularly fall in Baden. (although the absence of football is hard to forgive...) in my "summer is almost over, i'm going to yell at the weather lady every time she says this is going to be the last day of summer weather" slump, i tend to forget all of the best things about fall. aside from the beautiful leaves and the crisp fall air, Germany has particular joys to offer during this time.



one of my favortie features of fall is Neuer Wein - its like slightly fermented grape juice with a low alchohol content. trust me, it tastes better than it sounds. sweet. with a little bit of fermented goodness. germans drink this along with Zwiebelkuchen (literally "onion cake" - more like onion bread) due to that pesky allergy of mine, i do not consume the zwiebelkuchen, but i do enjoy the neuer wein - i think it pairs well with just about everything. like grown up grape juice. red wine. white wine. i like them all. these little stands appear all over with people selling apples, juice, wine and neuer wein and it is lovely.

photo

another favorite that i completely forgot is my all time hands down favorite soup - Kürbiskremesuppe aka pumpkin soup. not only is this heaven in a bowl, i also cannot seem to make it myself (never, ever believe that peanut butter is the secret ingredient...its not) making it an extra special treat for fall - hooray!

photo from here

so, although the days are getting shorter and colder, the crisp morning air gives reason to rejoice. each new season has so much to offer. since living in germany i have come to appreciate each season more thoroughly - probably due to the fact that germans associate certain customs and particuarly food with each season, and those things are only available in that season. like candy corn and peppermint m&ms, but way better. so, don't worry about me - i'm still taking breaks from long stints in the library to enjoy life. ~love~

adding insult to injury

...or why living in a tourist city can really get you down.

Pretty much no matter where I sit in the old-city library, I will encounter tourists. Either they are pausing to read over my shoulder, holding their huge cameras out of the way, or they are taking pictures in the entryway - blocking every door, or i can see them from my seat by the window...walking around the green castle gardens, teeth glinting in the sun as they pose for the picture that may or may not end up in a coffee table photo album.

photo from here

Honestly, I don't really have a problem with tourists. Its just. Well. They remind me that I am in fact NOT a tourist. I am NOT on vacation. I can NOT spend carefree hours strolling around the castle, window shopping along the Hauptstraße, walking by volume upon volume in the library with no need to pick any of them up.

Some day I will be a tourist. on vacation. strolling aimlessly. And when that day is, I will take care to smile with compassion at the people who actually live there. In that tourist destination. Who have to work and study and fulfill the obligations of day to day life. Which is what I must do this very minute... ~love~