on cultural differences

sometimes cultural differences are profound. sometimes they are downright silly. take, for example, cake. being in germany has made me rethink my definition of cake. stop for a minute. what makes something a cake? what constitutes bread? here is a re-creation of a conversation that i have had with more than one german on the subject of my mom's famous pumpkin bread (an international hit!)

me: here, do you want to have some pumpkin bread?

german: sure ... mmm, this is good, but its not bread, its cake.

me: what do you mean its cake? i baked it in a bread pan. its bread

german: but its sweet

me: well, thats true. but there is no frosting. its bread. we're having something else for dessert.

for the record, i could probably come up with a sassy retort referring to the fact that germans eat sweet, not salty popcorn, but i think i'll just let it be.

the thing is, people talk about culture, cultural differences and culture shock a lot. and i used to believe that all of these things would have a definition, a formula, and/or be logical. they are not. i find that my understanding of both german culture and my own culture is constantly changing - deepening, maturing. i am constantly bumping up against these cultural differences, but they are like furniture in a dark room, i can't see them coming and i can't always tell you their exact shape.

sometimes these differences are quite meaningful. they unveil a whole new way of understanding the world in which i live and the place that i have come from. lately, i have been looking back on my thoughts on culture and the way that they have evolved over the last (almost) three years here.

after a few months in germany, i probably said something about punctuality. after 6 months, i said empathy was one of the biggest differences. after a year, probably responsibility and self-motivation. after two years i began developing my sense of germans sort of "looking out for one another", because history taught them what can happen when people get desperate. this leads to an extensive welfare system, people giving up their seats on trains, and general friendliness. it also causes strangers to chide me for crossing the street when the light is red, riding my bike with a skirt on and informing me that i need to oil my bike chain.

i can list so many differences, but the thing is, listing them doesn't define germany or germans - in the same way that listing characteristics of american or western culture define america or the west or me. we are greater than the sum of our parts - this thing we call culture, these values that are instilled in the people who come from the same area and experience the same history - is just one of the many things that influences who a person is.

i will probably never come to a "conclusion" about the cultural differences between the states and germany. i will probably never have an answer for the ever popular question: "so, what is the biggest difference between germany and the states?" and that is exactly as it should be. ~love~